“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”
(Galatians 5:13)

I was stunned to read the Business Insider’s report stating that the average mobile phone user touches their phone 2,617 times a day, while extreme users (the top 10%) do so more than 5,400 times daily. Actions such as typing, tapping, and swiping on a phone’s screen are all counted as a “touch” in the study. This remarkable statistic underscores a stark reality—we live in a world ruled by glowing rectangles, from phones and tablets to computers.

Today’s children and teens, as digital natives, are the most likely to fall into the top 10% of extreme phone users. Growing up in a world where screens dominate communication, entertainment, and even education, they are more immersed in digital interactions than any generation before them.

Living in a screen-saturated world requires us to steward our freedom. Every time we touch technology, an opportunity is presented: serve ourselves (the flesh) or love and serve one another. Our screens can help or hinder our call to love God and others.

In today’s digital landscape, parenting comes with unique challenges and opportunities. Eliza Huie provides insightful guidance on navigating this terrain with wisdom and intentionality in her short book, ‘Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World’. In this article, I share five key takeaways from the book to help parents foster healthy digital habits in their children.

Tip #1: Model Digital Discipline and Courtesy

Have you ever heard of phubbing? It’s an amalgamation of ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing’, defined as ignoring one’s companion to pay attention to a mobile device. Most of us have both experienced and committed this act. But did you know that the mere presence of a phone on the table—even when turned off—changes the nature of conversations? Studies show that people engage in lighter, less meaningful discussions when they think they might be interrupted.

In 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, Tony Reinke reminds us that digital technology is most useful when we limit its reach into our lives. He suggests simple ways to do this, such as keeping phones out of sight when spending time with friends and family.

A seminary professor, Kevin DeYoung, has gone as far as to ban cell phones in his classroom. He writes,

“I don’t want students glued to the screen. I’m not trying to get the students to guess what my lecture notes look like. I’m not trying to test their note-taking abilities by quizzing them on the most obscure bits of every lecture. I am not aiming to develop court stenographers. If the goal is to produce an exact replica of my notes, I can give them my notes! But I want them engaged with me. I want eyeballs. I want ears. Can I be so bold as to say, I even want hearts. … I want people to be thinking and feeling and ruminating and wrestling as I speak, not staring at a screen trying to type every word I say.”

Practical Takeaways:

• As parents, our example matters. Through our own screen use, we can show our children the spirit of Galatians 5:13 by using the freedom and gift of electronics in a way that serves those around us. Godly stewardship of technology starts with our examples.
• Model digital boundaries for your children. Do your kids see there are certain places your phone does not come out?
• Huie suggests when your child starts speaking to you, let that be your cue to put your phone away. Put your phone out of sight when you are with friends or family.
• Set tech-wise routines: Wake up before your devices and put them to sleep before you go to bed.

Tip #2: When to Give Your Child a Device

Huie argues it is not just a question about when — it’s about how we give devices to our young people. Before handing your child a phone, discuss expectations and responsibilities:

• Start the conversation early. Talk about phone ownership before they get one. Discuss boundaries and the responsibilities of having a device so they understand everything from the cost, data limits, privacy, online safety and the temptations that come with owning a Wi-Fi-enabled device.
• Explore apps together. This isn’t about spying but about staying engaged.
• Maintain transparency. Make it a rule that they cannot block or hide their profiles or feed from you. Huie explains, “You don’t have to reply to all their posts or be their biggest fan. Just be present.”
• Set data limits. This will teach them to budget their online time and use their devices efficiently. “They will think twice about watching the next video, checking their friend’s feed again or scrolling through social media feeds. Let the data run out, and you will find they are on their phone less”, argues Huie.
• Be involved in choosing and changing passwords.
• Establish device-free zones/times.

If your child resists these boundaries before even receiving a device, that’s a sign they might not be ready to own one.

Tip #3: Remember You Are the Parent

Parents must exercise digital presence just as they do in real life. The Online Disinhibition Effect makes kids say and do things digitally that they wouldn’t in person— fuelling issues like cyberbullying and inappropriate content sharing.

Tony Reinke warns:

“Technology makes us think we can indulge in anonymous vices, even conceptually, without any future consequences. Anonymity is where sin flourishes, and anonymity is the most pervasive lie of the digital age. The clicks of our fingertips reveal the dark motives of our hearts, and every sin— every double tap and every click— will be accounted for.”

Practical Takeaways:

• Engage with your child’s digital world. “Don’t yield to the idea that it’s none of your business”, Huie cautions.
• Talk about digital footprints. The internet never forgets. Make them aware of the illusion of security that the internet often provides.
• Teach them that technology is a tool, not a master.
• Be aware of who your child interacts with and befriends online. Kids may not like that parents do this, but they need it— just as they once needed naps they didn’t like!

Tim Challies writes,

“No parent would ever put his child into the driver’s seat of a car without first teaching him how to drive—without first showing them how to accelerate gently, brake properly, use the turn signals, react in an emergency. Only when we have taught our children and mentored them can we allow them to set off on their own. Yet far too many parents are sending their children into an increasingly digital reality without proper training, without Biblical instruction. If we want our children to use technology well, if we want them to use it for God’s glory, we need to be willing to teach and train them.”

Tip #4: Know Your Enemy

Raising children has always been a learn-as-you-go journey, but raising digital natives is especially uncharted territory. How you handle mistakes—both yours and your children’s—is crucial. Paul Tripp advises parents to approach parenting not as “judges who have solved all their own problems but as fellow sinners who recognize their own need for grace.”

Key Reminders:

• Technology isn’t the enemy. It’s neutral— its impact depends on how it’s used.
• Your child isn’t the enemy. The real battle is against sin and deception. Huie aptly notes: “There is a greater war going on in our hearts and that of our children. Pray for wisdom and discernment to deal with the real struggle. The biggest enemy parents have in raising our kids in a screen-saturated world is the same enemy who continues to seek to destroy the work of God in us and our children’s lives.”
• Screens reveal our desires. What does your screen use reveal about your priorities? Huie wisely admonishes: “In a world so profoundly dependent on technology, the solution isn’t to label devices as the problem and avoid them, rather reflect on what technology is revealing about what is in your heart and your children’s hearts and begin to seek the Lord for help there.”
• Fight wisely. We are engaged in a battle against the enemy of our souls and the struggles within our own hearts. Satan’s methods are often subtle, drawing hearts away through distraction (James 4:1).
• Don’t give up. Parenting in a digital world requires prayer, wisdom, and humility.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”(Galatians 6:9).

Tip #5: Enjoying and Engaging with Screens

Technology isn’t going anywhere— we must learn to live well with it.

Examples of Ways to Use Tech Wisely:

• Connecting with family away. Weekly family video calls can help us to stay connected with distant relatives. A brief call allows us to check in on each other, share about our week, and how we can pray for each other.
• Digital group games that foster togetherness.
• Using digital tutorials to develop talents, skills and hobbies.
• Engaging in kingdom work online— supporting missions, encouraging others, and accessing biblical resources can all happen instantly via technology.

The goal is self-controlled, purposeful use of technology. Screens should build relationships, not hinder them. Huie writes,

“With intentional focus, technology is a freedom that can be used to serve one another. Living with self-control and using technology to foster connection and build relationships is possible.”

God’s ultimate desire isn’t that we just set rules for our children— He wants our own hearts turned back to Him.

Keeping the Conversation Going

In the book’s final chapter, Huie encourages parents to engage their children in ongoing discussions about technology instead of waiting until there’s a problem. She provides some helpful conversation starters for different age brackets (ages 2-5, 6-12 and 13-18) to help parents engage young people in conversations around technology use.

For example:

Ages 2-5:

“Have we (mommy or daddy) ever made you feel ignored when we were on our phones or computers?”

“What is your favourite thing to do on ___________ (name the device your 2-to-5-year-old uses)? How does it make you feel when you get to do that? How does it make you feel when you don’t get to do that?”

Ages 6-12:

“What do you think makes a kid ready to have his/her own phone, tablet, or laptop?”

“When you are using a phone, tablet or laptop and something inappropriate comes up, what will you do?”

Ages 13-18:

“What does it look like to honour God with your phone?”

“How will you handle it when a friend texts you something hurtful or sexual?”

Conclusion

Technology can be a blessing or a burden. We can guide our children toward healthy and godly tech use by modelling wisdom, setting boundaries, and keeping communication open.